White House Flag Lowered
As many of you know, on Sunday July 16th I sent an e-mail to the White House e-mail address: firstname.lastname@example.org. You know it because I copied you on my e-mail. I apologize for any anxiety this may have caused on your part. As Pat's Rick said, "Of course you realize that all of us are now on the 'terrorist watch list'." I'm sorry about that, but I copied you because you know who I am, and if anything unusual were to happen to me [truth can be stranger than fiction], you would all know what was behind it, and hopefully be righteously outraged. I am happy to report that only one day after I sent my e-mail (and Possumtrot did likewise), the White House gave up and pulled the plug on email@example.com.
Of course, Possum and I can't take all the credit. But it's nice to think that we played some small part in it's demise. With that, here is the text of the e-mail I sent...
Dear Mr. President,
I've seen something "fishy" on the Internet, so as you've directed, I'm reporting it to you. It's a blog called "View From Above" and here's the most recent article...
Be sure to keep an eye on this guy. He calls himself "Hawkeye" and says he's a "conservative". That's the first clue that this guy is dangerous. He also seems to favor states' rights over federal mandates. He supports single-issue causes which are opposed to abortion and immigration. That makes him a "right-wing extremist" according the DHS definition. He even admits that he's a right wing extremist here...
Hawkeye also says he is a Christian, so there's another reason to watch him. He seems to be pro-life, and says "It's OK to say Merry Christmas". I'm sure he wouldn't cover up Christian symbols, like you do. I don't think he would bow to the king of Saudi Arabia, the way you did. He keeps referring to "the 86% of Americans who identify themselves as Christian". He says America was founded "by Christians, for Christians", so he must be a bigot, right?
Hawkeye says that he and others like him are patriotic, and that you're not. He says he is proud of America and sees no need to apologize for it, like you do. He says America is the greatest "hope" of the world, and doesn't need your "hope". He says America is the greatest country on earth and doesn't need much "change". He says he can't understand why you hob-knob with petty dictators. He says he thinks you are an embarrassment to our country.
Hawkeye seems to believe in the sanctity of the United States Constitution. He says there is a method for changing the Constitution prescribed in the Constitution. He doesn't think judges should "write laws" from the bench, like you do. He doesn't like your selection criteria of "empathy" for choosing SCOTUS judges. He doesn't like your recent pick of Sonia Sotomayor for the Supreme Court. He called her a "racist-feminist", so he must be a chauvinist, white bastard... right?
On top of everything else, Hawkeye doesn't think you even qualify to be President. He says you are not a "natural born citizen" because your father was a Kenyan...
He must be one of those "birthers" or "nirthers" or whatever you call 'em. He says he'd like to see your original, long-form birth certificate... the dope! Everybody knows the 2007 short-form copy on the Internet IS your birth certificate, right? Heck, you're the President, the most important "public" office in the United States! Why should Americans need to know anything about you? Why should they care? The fact that we have to show our birth certificates for a drivers' license is irrelevant, right?
Hawkeye says that you are a socialist, a statist, and a collectivist. He says you were mentored by, hung out with, and have appointed socialists, statists and collectivists. He says you have no regard for the rule of law, even laws you co-sponsored as a Senator. He says you seem to have a secret agenda to turn America into a socialist state. He says you are a liar, and are deliberately spreading misinformation about yourself and your legislation. He seems to disagree with everything you say, and everything you stand for. Keep an eye on him. He's dangerous.
P.S.-- Yeah, that's my blog, and I'm reporting myself.
Here is Possum's e-mail to the White House...
Dear Mr. President:
I have noticed an alarmingly "fishy" trend online; people are turning themselves in for re-education because they disagree with your socialist policies. "Angry, un-American, Nazi mobsters" are prepared to face the wrath of the IRS, Democrat character assassins, and whatever other federal wrath can be brought to bear, in order to dissent from the socialist spiral you have set this country upon. I am warmly acquainted with one of these "mobsters."
I feel a compelling need to report a blogger who calls himself "Uncle Possum", a.k.a. "Possumtrot". He repeatedly maligns you by calling you "Osama Bamalama" -- which he attributes to Ted Kennedy -- "The Manchurian Candidate", and "The Red Herring". He compares your governmental expansionism to Adolph Hitler's in the 1930s. Not even a year into your presidency, he says that you are the worst thing that has happened to America since Jimmy Carter.
He is a self-styled "conservative Libertarian" who advocates substance over style, and rational, independent thought. He does not belong to a political party, but his votes have admittedly run to Republican candidates when a Libertarian is unviable for the same office. He is a hypocritical pro-life Christian who does not believe in legislating morality, and a potential "hate-militia" member because he used to teach combat shooting and is a gun-owning believer in The Second Amendment.
In short, this man is a mass of contradictions that can be set straight with a little re-education from one of the many governmental agencies at your disposal. If he fails to accept the party line, he is also a cripple with a cancer history, and can easily be added to a governmental euthanasia list for a final solution.
Your myrmidons can peruse his seditious blog at http://possumnews.blogspot.com/.
Now that whoever is really reading this has had time to plant a cookie tracer and run the properties on this e-mail, the truth is known and the sarcasm obvious. I am turning myself in for re-education.
I will consider it an honor to be placed on your Nixonian enemies list.
Robert B. Webb
Chalk up one for the good guys!