Daily Wisdom

March 05, 2006

Iran Threatens Response To Anything

TEHRAN, Iran -- Iran announced on Sunday it will begin large-scale uranium enrichment if the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) decides on Monday to refer the matter to the U.N. Security Council. It also announced that it will begin large-scale uranium enrichment if the IAEA does NOT refer the matter to the U.N. Security Council. "In fact", said Ali Larijani, Iran's top nuclear negotiatior, "we will begin large-scale uranium enrichment if the IAEA does anything." He then continued, "We have been secretly working on our nuclear program for over 20 years and lied about it the whole time. Not only that, but we have been secretly working on our nuclear program for the last 2 years while negotiating with the EU3 and lied about that too... So what makes you think we will consider doing anything differently now? Oh, and... Death to America! Death to Europe!"

Mohammed ElBaradei, head of the IAEA, said a committee within the agency is now closely examining Larijani's statement. There is some speculation that 'doing nothing' might not be considered doing 'anything'. "We think there is still some room to negotiate here", said an unnamed committee member.


At 3/05/2006 4:30 PM , Blogger MargeinMI said...

Perhaps an Independent Oversight Committee comprised of independent, objective observers such as North Korea and Russia, funded, of course, by the UN. That way they can really be doing nothing active yet actively not engage. Yeah, that's the ticket!

I nominate that nuanced flip-flopper John Francois Kerry to head this all important mission!

(He's a war vet you know.)

At 3/05/2006 6:36 PM , Blogger camojack said...

I've got a response for them, right HERE.

At 3/05/2006 9:16 PM , Blogger Pat'sRick© said...

So wouldn't sitting still be doing something?

At 3/06/2006 12:35 PM , Blogger Libby Gone™ said...

Where is Neville Chamberlain when we NEED him?
I like the way you think, Camo. I bet that would get them negotiating!

At 3/08/2006 3:22 PM , Blogger cranky old fart said...

What's with the tradmarks and copyrights on these names people?

At 3/08/2006 5:59 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

That's an inside joke. Many of the people who post here also post at ScrappleFace. Some months ago, a few of us "Scrapplers" got carried away and started attaching stuff to our cyber-names. That's why mine is Hawkeye®. (See "About Me", and at the bottom of each new article).

At 3/08/2006 6:00 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

P.S.-- ScrappleFace went to a new format, and we are no longer allowed such comic pleasures.

At 3/08/2006 6:29 PM , Blogger onlineanalyst said...

One of the commenters at captainsquartersblog refers to Iran's president as Amadinnerjacket. I'm inclined to agree that the madman who is dressed to kill wants to party like it's 1999 as he catapults the world toward Armageddon.

He has his hands in financing the riots, in manufacturing explosive devices able to penetrate body army with deadly force for use in Iraq, and with allying economically himself with China and Venezuela.

May he rest in pieces soon for the betterment of the ME and for the world.

At 3/08/2006 8:42 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

I like my version better. From my article Here...

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (pronounced... "I'm-mad-&-an-idjot")

AMEN... "May he rest in pieces".


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