Daily Wisdom

August 12, 2005

Howie: True Confessions

"View From Above" has learned that satire can be closer to the truth than you might think. In our posting dated Saturday, August 06, 2005 entitled "Top 10 Loony Liberal Idiots", Left-Wing Loony Liberal blogger "Howie" was lampooned as the "Looniest Liberal Left-Wing idiot of the bunch". In his poignantly astute observations, Hawkeye® suggested that "Howie has raised suspicions that he is really a conservative who brings the term "satire" to a whole new level." Well, the rest is history....

Relax. There is nothing wrong with your computer! Nor has this site been hacked. It's simply time to put this baby to bed. It's been a fun trip, but after 10,000 hits it's time to move on to other things.

That's right. In case anyone is still wondering, this is satire! (You nailed it, Hawkeye!) I am not a 21 year-old, dope-smoking, spellingly challenged, shallow, left-wing looney, Ivy League legacy brat. No, I'm a 45-year old father of two great daughters who has been a conservative since high school - before I could even vote! I'm a product of the Catholic School System where I received a conservative education. Thank God I wasn't subjected to public school. (Josh Fahrni, your parents are so right to home-school you!) I never tried weed, even non-inhaling. Oh, and yes I can spell!

Why start this blog? Well, back in 2004, I was surfing the net, reading various blogs. Running across some lefty blog, DU I think it was, I decided to have a little fun. I came up with this blithering blather about passive survival and how we need to talk to Usama binLaden and building a mosque at Ground Zero. I wanted to see what reaction I got from the lefties. Only problem is, you have to register at DU and many other lefty sites. I didn't want to do that because I knew someone that did it and kept getting spammed. What to do? So finally I decided to post it on a conservative blog, ScrappleFace, and let everyone beat up the lib. I chose the name, «Howie», because it just sounded like a whiny, sanctimonious liberal weenie. (Apologies to any Howards or Howells out there!)

Howie soon became a created character with a personality. Howie is arrogant, whiny, a know-it-all; he's shallow. Howie's «knowledge» is all by rote. It's all surficial; he has his lefty views but he really hasn't a clue why. Howie doesn't believe, he «feels». When challenged on his views he doesn't defend them, he falls back on, «Presemt a neocon wiht the facts abd the tuth and recieve an ad-nominem pesonal attack in returm». His spelling is right out of public school. Oh, and Howie uses these irritating «European» quotation marks.

After the 2004 election, I decided that Howie needs a blog of his own. I looked at Typepad, but they charge; Howie was not that important to become another bill for me to pay. Finally, this past spring, I discovered Blogger and, after being urged by dean04prez to"totaly start a blog of you're own", I started this blog.

Building upon Howie's arrogance, I started comment-spamming blogs on both the right and the left. You know, "Nice blog..." This got me traffic. I got conservatives who were angry at this lib brat spamming their site; I got libs, many of whom were totally supportive of Howie's views, no matter how extreme. And I deliberately pushed the envelope on that, too. Some of the libs seemed like sincere people who just had the wrong views; nonetheless they were sincere. Others were the type where you just want to take a shower after visiting their site. I found a veritable ocean of great conservative blogs. Camojack, Josh, Beerme, many others. (
See sideboard.) Sorry about the stupid comments, guys.

The puppet face. About that. There's a reason. That puppet was called Dorshock and it was on The Sandy Becker Show, a New York kids' show from the 50s and 60s that I used to watch. Dorshock's entire vocabulary was, "blah, blah, blah, blah." Suits Howie doesn't it.

So, time to put Howie away. I haven't decided whether to stay on as a conservative blog, or to shut down, but it's been fun, especially reading the great responses to Howie everyone has posted!

A big thank you goes out to the great Scott Ott of ScrappleFace and Professym Lawrence "Liberal Larry" Chomstein of BlameBush for inspiration for this project.

Thanks Howie for the hat-tip, and best of luck in your next adventure.


At 8/12/2005 5:38 PM , Blogger Kajun said...

At first I thought this was a womyn's magazine article.

You fooled me completely Hawkeye®

At 8/12/2005 5:41 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Gotta stay on your toes around here. (Although that sounds a little like a ballet class, doesn't it... drats!)

At 8/12/2005 5:52 PM , Blogger Kajun said...

A ballet class sounds like something needed in West Palm Beach County.

At 8/12/2005 10:26 PM , Blogger camojack said...

I hope he keeps it up...


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