Daily Wisdom

April 12, 2010

Obama's Bizarro World

Hat-tip to Hankmeister for inspiration...


For those of us who were kids in the 1960's and liked to read comic books, the "Bizarro World" of Superman lore is unforgettable. It is a strange cube-shaped world where everything is supposed to be the opposite of life on earth. People on Bizarro World live according to the Bizarro Code...


Bizarro World is also known as the planet "Htrae", or "Earth" spelled backwards. On Bizarro World, the tires on their cars are square rather than round. Buying Bizarro bonds are "Guaranteed to lose money for you". Being called "stupid" is considered a great compliment. People make it a practice to use the worst grammar possible. And they enter through exits, and exit through entrances...


Well, having Barack Obama as President is kind of like having an inhabitant from Bizarro World in the White House. Consider the following...

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, taking an oath to "protect and defend the Constitution of the United States" really means doing everything in your power to circumvent that Constitution because you think it is "fundamentally flawed".

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that you are "not a socialist" really means "it's good to spread the wealth around" and have a voting record to left of avowed socialist Bernie Sanders.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that you are "not an idealogue" really means that you will fight against all obstacles to get your legislation passed, no matter the cost to your poll numbers or your party's future, and despite a majority of Americans rejecting it.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that you will not raise taxes on anyone earning less than $250,000 a year really means that you are about to impose a new cigarette tax on the average smoker who earns $40,000 a year.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that you will not raise taxes on anyone earning less than $250,000 a year really means that you will tax various companies who will then pass on those costs to the taxpayer.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that you do not want to run an auto company really means that you have just seized control of GM, fired the CEO, told them what kind of cars to build, and you now maintain a 60% controlling interest.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, "energy independence" means not using energy sources we own, making electricity rates "skyrocket", bankrupting coal-fired power plants, replacing reliable energy sources with weather-dependent sources, inflating your car tires, and expanding oil and gas exploration (but not permitting any drilling).

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that we have the worst economy since the Great Depression really means that it's time to push a legislative agenda that creates uncertainty for industry, increases the cost of doing business, and raises taxes on everyone.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that unemployment will not rise above 8% really means that unemployment will hit 10%.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that you will create almost 4 million new jobs really means that you will lose nearly 3 million jobs.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that you want to "stimulate the economy" really means that you want to spend billions of dollars on government agencies "overwhelmingly" in Democratic districts.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that we need "earmark reform" really means that you are about to sign a spending bill that has over 8,000 earmarks in it.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that we must address deficit spending really means that you are about to propose a budget of $3.6 trillion which is half a trillion more than last year's budget and of which fully one third is deficit spending.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that we must address deficit spending really means that it's time to launch a new entitlement program.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that health care reform is "deficit neutral" really means that 10 years of taxes should cover 6 years of benefits.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, "saving Medicare" means arbitrarily cutting $500 billion out of its budget.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, "saving money" means cutting Medicare and spending that money somewhere else.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, "budget cuts" really mean "tax increases".

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, working in a "bipartisan manner" means passing all of your legislation with few or no Republican votes.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, "transparency" means hiding your birth certificate, your college records and all of your writings.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, "openness" means conducting negotiations behind closed doors.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, announcing the closure of Gitmo within one year really means that you will begin thinking about ways to do that, and maybe not doing it after all.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that you will not prosecute CIA personnel really means that within 24 hours you will order Attorney General Holder to consider prosecuting CIA personnel.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying that you will issue a "strong response" to North Korea for firing ballistic missiles aimed at Hawaii really means that you are about to cut the budget for missile defense systems.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, saying you want to improve education really means that you want to kill the school voucher program that allows poor kids to get a better education.

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, you announce a troop increase in Afghanistan at the same time you announce a planned withdrawal date.

I could go on and on (trust me), but I think you get the point. Allow me to leave you with one final example which sums things up...

In the Bizarro world of Barack Obama, wealth is a crime and should be punished; poverty is noble and should be rewarded; government is good and should be expanded; government officials are power brokers and not public servants; the Constitution is flawed and should be circumvented; unions are a source of power that should be harnessed; We The People are dangerous and must be contained.

So where's Superman when you need him?



15 Comments:

At 4/12/2010 3:56 PM , Blogger Nick - The Survival Guru said...

? Is this this a Bizarro post or what, Ah

How true and you've hit the nail again.

I'm first!...i think.

 
At 4/12/2010 5:46 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Nick,
'Tis true, 'tis true! You are the first to comment today, so you get the "virtual" cigar!

(:D) Best regards...

 
At 4/12/2010 6:48 PM , Blogger Beerme said...

Maybe if we say his name backwards he'll disappear!
Oh, that was Mr. Mxzptlk not Bizarro world...

Oh, Amabo, Amabo, Amabo, anyway!

 
At 4/12/2010 8:19 PM , Blogger Just call me Shelly said...

How about Mrs Bizaro who gets a job in a hospital where there is no job for her to do.

Yup, stupid is where stupid lives. Well that is not what Forrest said, but in my not to bizarre world, that will have to do.

As a side note I get to attend my first Tea Party Wednesday night. Getting there has always been a problem, but finally there is a party on my city bus line.

More to come.

 
At 4/12/2010 9:35 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Beerme,
I'm with ya buddy. Amabo, Amabo, Amabo... go away!

(:D) Best regards...

 
At 4/12/2010 9:38 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Shelly,
I thought that was "Stupid is as Stupak does". Anyway, have fun at the Tea Party! Can't wait to hear good reports.

(:D) Best regards...

 
At 4/13/2010 12:29 AM , Blogger camojack said...

"I could go on and on..."

Ummm...could?! ;-)

 
At 4/13/2010 2:26 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Camo,
Are you making fun of my verbosity?

(:D)

 
At 4/14/2010 3:49 AM , Blogger camojack said...

Maybe just a little... ;-)

 
At 4/18/2010 9:59 AM , Blogger radar said...

"Masterful" Radar

"Must-read" Kimbal

Amabo Amabo Amabo!

 
At 4/18/2010 2:06 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Radar,
Thanks! I appreciate the kind words.

(:D) Best regards...

 
At 4/19/2010 7:59 PM , Blogger radar said...

I DO go on and on. I shared this with some Tea Party Patriot friends, by the way...

 
At 4/19/2010 9:19 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Radar,
Great! Thanks. The more the merrier!

(:D) Best regards...

 
At 5/15/2010 12:54 AM , Blogger Gary said...

How about getting a Nobel Peace Prize because he WANTS the world to be a nicer place?

 
At 5/15/2010 12:10 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Gary,
Or better yet, that you "deserve" a Nobel Peace Prize for doing absolutely nothing.

(:D) Best regards...

 

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