Daily Wisdom

June 09, 2009

Captain Obama and Starship America

In his press conference of April 30th, 2009, President Obama was asked what many called a "softball" question. It was a 4-part question from Jeff Zeleny of the New York Times: "Since becoming president, what has surpised, troubled, enchanted, and humbled you the most." It was a humorous moment that brought laughter from the White House Press Corps, and the unusual nature of the question was more widely discussed than Obama's answers.

When Obama got to the part about what has humbled him, he first fumbled around looking for an answer suggesting perhaps that little has humbled him. But then, in a rather telling moment he said that what has humbled him most is that: "I just can't press a button and suddenly have the bankers do what I want... or turn on a switch and suddenly Congress falls in line." Apparently Obama had the "audacity" to think that the mere power of his presence in the Oval Office would make things happen. He thought it would be as easy as pressing a button or turning on a switch.

Like Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise, Obama ordered the closing of the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay and said, "Make it so." But to Obama's surprise, it has not happened. Obama thought he could get the Republicans to work in a bipartisan manner simply by ordering: "Engage." But the Republicans have not engaged. They have fought him almost every step of the way. He thought he could reform healthcare simply with a word: "Proceed". But there is no healthcare bill on his desk.

Like James T. Kirk, Obama calls down to engineering and asks, "Scotty, where's that stimulus? Stimulus would be good right about now." But Scotty replies, "I'm doin' the best I can, Captain. I'm tryin' to pick up the pieces down here." And like a starship that is being sucked slowly into the black hole of a giant recession, Captain Obama orders more power to the engines: "Warp 4... Warp 5." And as Starship America thrusts billions of dollars into the black hole, Captain Obama says, "There are glimmers of hope. We're not being sucked in as fast now as we were before."

Captain Obama ignores the fact that half of his crew is mutinous, and the other half is confused and in disarray. They are getting anxious about his lack of a sound plan. Captain Obama orders: "Warp 7... Warp 8." Yet, he seems oblivious to the fact that he is reaching the maximum capacity of his engines. "The auto industry on the starboard nacelle is starting to break-up Captain!", a voice on the com-link shouts. "Bring it to my ready room and I'll fix it myself," orders Obama. "I'll make it more energy efficient, and it will be able to pull us out of here," he states confidently.

But there are still dangers ahead. If Captain Obama goes past Warp 9 and Starship America somehow manages to break free from the black hole, there is a real possibility that the sling-shot effect will cause the vessel to go out of control and leave the space-time continuum altogether. It will then enter another dimension known as Hyperinflation. And then the real problems begin. Slowing down the starship to get out of Hyperinflation will cause gravity to kick back in and the ship will be dragged back to the black hole. But staying in Hyperinflation is like an endless feedback loop which drains the ship of energy. Eventually, Captain Obama will have to divert power from the life support systems to keep the ship running, but the crew will die a slow agonizing death.

And then more bad news: "Hull-breach on Decks California, New York and New Jersey!" The ship is starting to break apart. Now is the time for one of those unbelievable Star-Trek™ moments, when the Captain realizes the predicament he is in and orders the ship to turn around and head directly into the black hole. "But sir! We'll all be killed!", say the incredulous crew members. "Not if we divert all power to the shields," says the Captain. "It'll be a rough ride, but we'll end up on the other side of the black hole in one piece."

Will Captain Obama give the order? Or will the ship be destroyed?

To be continued...


At 6/09/2009 8:11 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hawkeye, I think it's time that we arm the photon torpedoes before Obamessiah destroys all of Star Fleet.

I can't figure out if he's part Klingon or Ferengi though I tend to lean to the latter.


At 6/09/2009 9:07 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Yeah, the ears give 'em away every time!

(:D) Best regards...

At 6/09/2009 9:22 PM , Blogger Barb said...

Maybe if all the appointees of
0bamassah,would pay their back taxes,there would be enough fuel for warp 10........
or 0bamassah could just flap his ears.

At 6/09/2009 10:57 PM , Blogger Elroy said...

We can only assume that you prefer Starship Captains Palin & McCain to be on the bridge, in which case they would have just allowed the black hole to swallow what was left of the vessel, the other officers having already stripped whatever was of value, jumped into the escape pods and abandoned ship.

Is there life on the other side of the black hole? Maybe, Jim, but not as you know it. The once mighty Starship America would be reduced to being a tramp steamer fully owned by Starship China of the evil empire, a rust-bucket full of starving crew either in chains or fighting each other for scraps.

However, the officer class of this third galaxy non-entity would still comfortable enough as they would have convinced some of the more murderous of the crew that a mutiny would mean that they would never, ever get to sit at the captain's table.

They were never, ever going to anyway, but as long as they thought there was a chance that they might, the officers could rely on them to keep the rest of the crew agitating for change under control.

Indeed, the thugs loyal to the officers told tales of a previous mutiny won by the forebears of those very officers and that any more uprisings would be to betray the first, even though the crimes committed by the current officers are far worse than those committed by those they rebelled against.

Unfortunately Starship America's last Captain continuously pressed every button on the deck and broke most of them, which is why they are not working for Captain Obama – that and the problem that many of the senior officer class are sulking and would rather be in charge of a third rate heap than help run a first-rate vessel to be proud of. It seems that the allegiance to the captain once demanded of these officers turned out to be dependent on who the captain actually is, a notion not entertained by them previously.

There are other starships trying to avoid being sucked into the black hole too and, through a prudent application of thrust, some are so far managing to escape. Will the Starship America? Who knows. But it may have had better chance had its officers not sold the engines to the evil empire and pocketed the proceeds.



At 6/10/2009 1:24 AM , Blogger camojack said...

Interesting analogy.

Did you like the new Star Trek movie?

At 6/10/2009 8:11 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Isn't it nice to know that our government officials are either too dumb to figure out the tax code, too lazy to figure out the tax code, too cheap to hire somebody who knows what they're doing, or too crooked to do the right thing. Great choices?!?!

(:X) Best regards...

At 6/10/2009 8:13 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Blah, blah, blah.

(:D) Cheers...

At 6/10/2009 8:24 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Yeah, I saw the new one with my daughter a couple of weeks ago. It was OK, but kind of weird. The young actors did a pretty good job of impersonating their older selves, especially Bones. But Kirk didn't look much like Kirk, Spock didn't act much like Spock, Uhura didn't act much like Uhura, etc. And of course time has been changed forever, so everything in all the previous movies "never happened". But I guess that leaves this new crew free to make more movies along different plot lines.

Oh well. So much for tradition and heritage. I guess it was the "progressive" thing for Hollywood to do.

(:I) Best regards...

At 6/10/2009 9:55 AM , Blogger boberin said...

Elroy nails it and get a "blah, blah,blah in response?

Oh well, the original and Elroys answers are both fairly entertaining

At 6/10/2009 4:59 PM , Blogger Beerme said...

Class warfare and blame the previous administration for everything nails it, eh?

Very entertaining, Hawkeye®!

At 6/10/2009 7:21 PM , Blogger Elroy said...

Beerme – if it isn't the Bush administrations fault, then whose is it? It even happened when he was president so please, tell me, who should be held responsible? Who was minding the store? Who was on watch?

As for class warfare, it's alive and well and you are on the wrong end of it. I am always baffled when conservatives cry 'Class warfare!', as if that ends the argument – what on earth gives you the idea that class warfare is not going on? Rush? Sean?

The conservative reframing of class struggle as 'war fare' or the even funnier 'Politics of envy' is a masterstroke, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time – as Warren Buffett once said 'The rich people are doing so well in this country. I mean, we never had it so good …. It’s class warfare, my class is winning, but they shouldn’t be.'

The fiscal equality gap is growing at a faster rate than ever before across the world, and this can only spell disaster for society. Do you want to know what happens? Do you want to know how it ends? Look at Rio. Look at Johannesburg. Is that waht you want? Is that your 'Manifest destiny'?

As for you, Hawkeye®, what's up? Don't want to play anymore?



At 6/11/2009 4:04 AM , Blogger camojack said...

I thought the guy playing Dr. McCoy did an excellent job, too.

As for the timeline thing, they get to play "fast and loose" with the Star Trek mythos that way...

At 6/11/2009 7:59 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Obama has been in office nearly 5 months now. Even if the recession started during Bush's administration, it's Obama's recession now.

So how have Obama's policies been working out? He said if we passed the huge stimulus bill, unemployment wouldn't rise above 8.2% (it's now at 9.4% and climbing). His stimulus bill isn't stimulating. His creation of huge deficits is causing the interest rates to rise. The Chinese want the U.S. to issue Treasuries in yuan so they don't lose any money as the dollar declines in value. The declining dollar is causing oil and gas prices to rise. The Chinese economy is showing more signs of recovery than the American economy. What's wrong with this picture?

On top of that, I heard today that the new small cars (you know, the kind Obama wants Government Motors to build) can't pass the safety crash tests... a crash at 3 to 6 miles per hour can cause $1000 to $3700 worth of damage. So much for economy.

At 6/14/2009 11:41 PM , Blogger Elroy said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! LOL! RATFLMAOUIDORF! I love this! You're right! You ARE a master of satire! What''s wrong with this picture? The people that painted it! Bush, Paulson, Gramm, Reagan, Thatcher, Friedman and all the rest!

The GFC was a loooong time coming, and the fact that you dare to blame it on Obama for trying to clean it up means that you either don't have a clue how it happened or are deeply in denial.

Bush's recession won't be cleaned up in 5 months or even 5 years; in fact, unless the USA does something really, really radical, I don't think it'll ever really recover at all. The centre of industrial production moves around, Hawkeye® – it used to be India and China, then it was Britain and Europe, then the USA, and now it's India and China again. Grrr! Stoopid History! Round and round it goes!

But what ever happened to personal responsibility? Whatever happened to 'Gee, yeah, I suppose that, looking objectively at the evidence, 30 years of Friedmanism really did screw things up in the long term. Sorry about that. We'll shut up now''? That would be the honest approach.

But I shouldn't be surprised – Conservatives amazingly blame both Ford's AND Reagan's recessions on Carter and now want to blame Clinton and Obama for Bush's incompetence! Astounding!



PS – and now you want to criticize a car that doesn't yet exist? Far out! You guys are just praying for failure, aren't you? And GM doesn't have to mean Government Motors; take a leaf out the Chinese playbook – 'Government owned doesn't mean government run'.

And what do you suggest they build instead? More Hummers? Please, as a part owner of GM< what are your thoughts? What would you buy?

At 6/15/2009 8:13 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

We've already been over this before. The liberal Democrats in Congress were the primary cause of the GFC. Even Bill Clinton acknowledged that.

You're right, the GFC was a long time coming... its roots were founded during the Carter administration in 1977 with the passage of the CRA (at the insistence of ACORN, mind you).

A lot of liberal Dems made out big time by creating a housing bubble. People like Franklin Raines, Jim Johnson, et al. They also made big donations to guys like Bawney Fwanks, Chris Dodd and Barack Obama.

And Bush left office with a $569 billion deficit... which Obama has proceeded to turn into a $1.8 trillion deficit. Obama spent the second half of the TARP money ($350 billion). Obama passed the stimulus package ($787 billion). Obama passed a bloated budget ($3.5 trillion). Obama is nationalizing the banks. Obama took over GM. Those were his actions, not GWB's.

Like it or not, it is now OBAMA's economy, and history will decide if he made the right choices.


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