Obama: Just Being Proactive?

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In a move which some say reflects his uncanny ability to anticipate the future, President-Elect Barack Obama has selected Gregory Craig to be his White House counsel. Craig is the well-known Washington lawyer who was tapped by Bill Clinton to defend him during the impeachment hearings. Craig also defended Kofi Annan, the former Secretary-General of the UN, when the Oil-for-Food scandal was being investigated by the Volcker Commission.

"Now here's a guy who has a reputation for being able to defend corrupt, high-profile politicians", said an unnamed Obama insider who, for the purposes of this article, we shall refer to as 'David Axelrod', a fictional character. "And with a history like Obama's - coming out of Chicago politics, and all - Craig is somebody you want to have on your side," he continued.

With his innauguration still weeks away, critics argue that it's too early for Obama to be selecting his defense counsel. "He hasn't even moved into the White House yet, and he's already preparing for impeachment proceedings," said a conservative blogger who wished to remain anonymous for fear of reprisals. "It's another example of Obama's presumptuousness." [Editor's Note: Barack Obama was widely criticized by Republicans, including the McCain-Palin ticket, for "measuring the drapes in the White House" before the election had even taken place.]

Many on the Left however think that Craig is a good choice. At the Daily Kos, commenter i-b-lib said, "I like this Craig guy. He defended John Hinckley, Jr and copped an insanity defense for him. You remember, the dude who almost killed Ronald Reagan? Too bad Hinckley screwed up and didn't get the neo-con [expletive deleted]."

Another Left-Wing blogger reminds us that Craig is currently defending Pedro Gonzalez Pinzon - a Panamanian legislator wanted for murdering an American soldier in 1992. Left-tard at DrinkTheKoolaid.com says, "Screw the imperialist storm-troopers! Viva Pinzon! Viva Gregory Craig!"

'David Axelrod' went on to say that Craig is a good choice for another reason - he has an ideological affinity for socialist dictators. "Craig you may recall, represented the father of Elian Gonzalez who demanded the return of his son after his estranged wife died trying to bring Elian to the U.S. from Cuba. We know that Fidel Castro was behind the whole incident, but... C'mon, he was just trying to embarrass the United States. Heck, WE did that during the campaign. Obama LOVES Fidel, and oh yeah... Hugo Chavez too!"

"Whatever else you might think about Obama, you've got to admit that he plans ahead," said Chris 'Tingly-Leg' Matthews (D-MSNBC). But according to the neo-con [expletive deleted]s, there are any number of lawsuits already pending against Obama. For example, there are several suits in which it is alleged that Barack Obama might not even meet the constitutional requirements to take the oath of office. If any one of those cases reaches the High Court, Obama might in fact need a good lawyer - and Gregory Craig, who is an American, just might fit the bill.

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