Daily Wisdom

June 26, 2007

Paris Hilton Released From Jail

Paris Hilton (who is named after a hotel in France) was released from jail today just after midnight. The party-hopping socialite and heiress to a hotel and real estate fortune, was freed on "good behavior" after serving just 23 years of her 45 year sentence.

A statement was released in which she said, "This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I have had a lot of time to reflect, and have already learned a bitter, but important lesson from this experience."

She was admitted to the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, CA for various major offenses including: violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving incident, wearing white shoes before Memorial Day, stealing important documents from the National Archive, exposing the name of undercover CIA agent Valerie Plame to the public, and the politically motivated firings of 8 U.S. Attorneys.

Shortly after Hilton's release, sheriff's department spokesman Steve Whitmore made a brief statement: "She has fulfilled her debt to society and it's now concluded," he said. Those who witnessed her release said she looked remarkably unchanged after 23 years of hard labor.

Paris Hilton with Prison Warden Buddy Holly.


Sandy Burger, Robert Novak, Richard Armitage, Joe Wilson, Patrick Fitzgerald and Alberto Gonzales are still at large.

6 Comments:

At 6/27/2007 3:51 AM , Anonymous camojack said...

Why'd you wanna "diss" Buddy Holly?

 
At 6/27/2007 10:26 AM , Blogger Beerme said...

That was about the quickest twenty=three years I've ever experienced...

 
At 6/27/2007 1:55 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Camo,
It is satire after all.

Beerme,
...or was that "days"???

(:D) Best regards fellas.

 
At 6/27/2007 8:56 PM , Anonymous Ms RightWing's Ink said...

Shoot, with all the people the Clintons bumped off you would think they would get at lesst 45 days

 
At 6/28/2007 1:20 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Ms RW,
My feelings exactly. "Go directly to Jail... Do not collect $200!"

(:D) Best regards...

 
At 6/30/2007 1:42 AM , Anonymous elroy said...

Yup, the streets sure ain't safe with Novak, Armitage and Gonzales wandering around.

And Bush, and Cheney, and etc etc (Contd. Page 94)

Cheers

Elroy

 

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