Daily Wisdom

August 29, 2006

Jackson-Assad Caption Contest


OK Viewers... fill in the blanks! What do Jesse Jackson and Bashar Al-Assad have to say to each other? Enter as often as you like. The best entry will be posted, and the contest winner will get a one-year free subscription to "View From Above" (and a special recognition)! You must be 18 years of age or older to enter. Submissions will be accepted until... they stop coming in. Employees of "View From Above" are ineligible to participate. Void where prohibited by law.

31 Comments:

At 8/29/2006 10:45 PM , Blogger onlineanalyst said...

Jackson: "Ooh, ooh, ooh, Baby, Baby"

Assad: "Since you've dropped Cindy, I have to take you Syriasly."

 
At 8/29/2006 10:51 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

whats that smell.......

 
At 8/29/2006 10:54 PM , Blogger onlineanalyst said...

Jackson: "I'm here to represent the Rainbow Coalition."

Assad: "You folks really will do anything for a pot of gold."

 
At 8/29/2006 10:55 PM , Anonymous CalGirl said...

Oh, I am terrible at these things, but I am sure someone will come up with something really clever. :)

 
At 8/29/2006 11:14 PM , Anonymous Ms RightWing, Ink said...

Assad

Yes, you just push this here button and the chair flys over Israel. You can bomb and everything

Jackson

Your (bleeping) me!

 
At 8/29/2006 11:37 PM , Blogger onlineanalyst said...

Jackson: "I think that I can deliver most of the Dems in the next election. They like my jive."

Assad: "We rely on Dhimmis like you."

 
At 8/29/2006 11:40 PM , Blogger onlineanalyst said...

Jackson: "I'm glad that we could share a little face time."

Assad: "Now that our lines are not secured, it is best that we meet this way."

 
At 8/30/2006 1:22 AM , Blogger camojack said...

Jackson: I find it helps my popularity to pander to the masses.

Assad: I pander to the mullahs; they control the masses...

 
At 8/30/2006 1:37 AM , Blogger Nylecoj said...

Jackson: "Working together we can stick it to the man, oh er, defeat the great satan."
Assad: "Now that is a coalition I can get behind."

 
At 8/30/2006 7:15 AM , Blogger Beerme said...

Jackson: "Now that was a good meeting! We decided on the new Democrat talking points, how best to spin the news, fauxtography, and all. Next meeting will be in Hymietown so bring singles for the dancers, eh?"

Assad: "Jesse, you a bad mullah..."

Jackson: "Shut yo' mouf!"

Assad: "But I'm talkin' 'bout Rev..."

Fade out while Jackson and Assad labor through an elaborate hand shaking/dancing ritual...

 
At 8/30/2006 9:31 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Thanks everybody. I'll keep the contest open awhile to see if we get any more entries.

 
At 8/30/2006 11:50 AM , Blogger Maggie said...

Jackson: Are you a Hezzbo?

Assad: No,I'm a Hatero.


Cal Girl
As you can see ,so am I.

 
At 8/30/2006 11:54 AM , Blogger Maggie said...

Jackson: What's for lunch,pork ribs and collards?


Assad: and yellow cake for desert.

(don't be hatin')

 
At 8/30/2006 11:58 AM , Blogger radar said...

Jackson: I've decided to allow you to use me to promote your ungodly aims, and believe me, many others want me for the same thing. I just need one thing from you.

Assad: Great, what do you want me to do?

Jackson: Let me hear you say it: Show me the money!

Assad: Show me the money.

Jackson: I need you to feel it. SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!

Assad: "SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!"

Jackson: THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout!

 
At 8/30/2006 2:02 PM , Anonymous The Great Santini said...

[Jackson thought bubble]

"How long do Ah have to be sittin' here an' fake stylin' widdis jive-Assad camel jockey befo' Ah kin shake down da A-rab honky fo' some real dough? Ah am SOMEbody!"

[Assad thought bubble]

"This tiresome windbag reminds me of that TV show character, Paladin—have gall, will travel. Enough of his 'Hymietown' shuck and jive and of how perverted lump of camel dung Clinton provided spiritual support in the episode of his love child!

Insh'allah, I will summon eunuch Nasrallah to urinate on Jackson's Rainbow Coalition Bible, and then slit his infidel throat! Yassir, that's my baby! He is NObody!"

 
At 8/30/2006 2:26 PM , Anonymous Barb said...

Jackson: "You awful WHITE fo' a AAArab."

Assad: "Did you know the Muslim word for blackperson actually means slave?"

 
At 8/30/2006 2:38 PM , Blogger Maggie said...

Barb....LMHO

 
At 8/30/2006 8:04 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Wow! More great posts! Lookin' good people!

(:D) Regards...

 
At 8/30/2006 8:21 PM , Anonymous calGirl said...

Maggie...hezbo/hatero?

FUNNY!

Way better than what I could come up with. :)

 
At 8/30/2006 9:57 PM , Blogger onlineanalyst said...

Time out: Hawkeye, every time that I bring up this thread, I misread the headline. It appears to be about a Jack-Ass. But then I realize that it is about two of them. (Am I allowed to say that on your blog?)

Back to business:

Jackson: "I have a mo bettah way."

Assad: "And you know what I'm talkin' about."
(An aside from Assad: When is that thick-ankled bottle blonde going to take over the White House, so that I can sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom?)

 
At 8/31/2006 7:51 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

OLA,
Glad you picked up on that one! Sure, it's OK to say Jack-Ass. Hee-haw! Hee-haw!

 
At 8/31/2006 8:53 AM , Blogger RAM said...

Jack$on: I feel your pain bro. All the sane people in America hate me too!

Other lunatic: I hope I can continue to count on the support of useful idiots such as yourself until we completely destroy your Country!

 
At 8/31/2006 9:03 AM , Blogger RAM said...

Sorry I got here late Hawkeye, I haven't been online for a while.

I had one other thought about the picture,

It really doesn't matter WHAT either is saying, BUT I did notice it's hard to see the puppet strings attached to either in the photo!

Did you photoshop them out?

 
At 8/31/2006 12:50 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

RAM,
No, I didn't Photoshop out the puppet strings... that Reuters photographer beat me to it!

 
At 8/31/2006 2:53 PM , Blogger Maggie said...

Jackson: guess what I have in my hands.


Assad: Whatch you talkin 'bout willis?

(now I'm just digging)

 
At 9/01/2006 11:07 PM , Blogger RAM said...

Jackson: I have always been a "showman". My daddy was a dancer named Mr. Bojangles.

Assad: What a coincidence! My father was also in show business. He played Howard Sprague on the Andy Griffith Show!

 
At 9/02/2006 9:17 AM , Blogger Maggie said...

Jackson:
You are saying that the proper sitting postion for a man is to place feet flat on the floor with hands gripping the arms of the chair?

Assad: Yes, we consider a man who folds his hands in front of him and crosses his feet at the ankles to be a 'Sissyman'.

(I know,I need help)

 
At 9/02/2006 11:06 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Maggie,
Great entries all! Thanks.

RAM,
Mr. Bojangles...? Howard Sprague...? Ha. Good one.

 
At 9/07/2006 8:22 PM , Anonymous Mrs. Hawkeye said...

Jackson: I like your black suit.

Assad: I like your black suit as well.

 
At 9/07/2006 8:44 PM , Anonymous Mrs. Hawkeye said...

Jackson: The contest is over. My black suit was not the winner.

Assad: At least your black suit made the final four. My black suit didn't get past the preliminaries.

 
At 9/11/2006 1:20 PM , Anonymous Mrs. Hawkeye said...

Jackson: Who cleans your black suits? I can't find anyone who can do a really good job in Mississippi.

Assad: We don't have dry cleaners here in the Middle East. Mine is a disposable black suit. With the amount of money we get in subsidies from Iran, we can afford a black suit a day.

 

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