Chirac Surrenders!

PARIS, France -- In a fashion reminiscent of June 1940, Jacques Chirac surrendered on Monday to the demands of students and labor unions, reversing his attempt to reduce unemployment in France with a new law instating the First Job Contract (CPE). Under the proposed law, employers who are currently mandated to hire employees for life, would be allowed to hire and fire employees under the age of 26. The law was designed to give French employers an incentive to hire young workers on a trial basis.

Unfortunately, Chirac was not prepared for the reaction of French youth who don't really want to work because it would cut into their protest and demonstration schedules. "Hey... we've got cars to burn and placards to wave, mon ami!", said one of the youthful protesters. "I can't make it with the... 'minou'... you know, Les Pussycats, if I'm working all day!", he said.