Role Reversal?

BERKELY, CA -- Kurt Kleiner wrote an interesting article in the Toronto Star dated March 19th about a controversial new study. According to the study, children that are whiny and insecure grow up to become conservatives, while children that independent and self-reliant grow up to become liberals. The study tracked 95 kids from the Berkeley area for the last 20 years and was published in the Journal of Research Into Personality.

As expected, the study has drawn fire from right-wing blogs and has been labeled by some as "bad science". Kurt raises some interesting questions as it relates to the study...

Are nursery school teachers in the conservative heartland cursed with classes filled with little proto-conservative whiners?

Or does an insecure little boy raised in Idaho or Alberta surrounded by conservatives turn instead to liberalism?

Or do the whiny kids grow up conservative along with the majority of their more confident peers, while only the kids with poor impulse control turn liberal?

Well, the answer seems clear to me... According to Dr. Hawkeye®, children have a liberal or conservative gene from birth, known as the L-gene or the C-gene. The C-gene children of liberals in the Berkeley California area are whiny and insecure because they realize that their parents are idiots. When they grow up, they realize that they have the option to live amongst people who are rational and intelligent. Hence they mature into independent, self-reliant adults.

Conversely, the L-gene children of liberals in the Berkeley California area are independent and self-reliant when young, because they identify with their L-gene parents and assume that the whole world is liberal. When they grow up, they learn that conservatives are in the majority and the shock causes them to become confused. They then turn into whiny, insecure children.

That's my story and I'm sticking with it.