Dems Delight in Daily Dose of Disaster

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With mid-term elections just months away, the Democrats are nearly giddy with delight at the prospect that bad news abounds. Continuing to pursue their negativistic stategy, they can barely contain themselves as they report on, or comment about, the daily doses of disaster. While trying to maintain straight faces, they secretly relish in the problems which confront the U.S., the War on Terror, the situation in Iraq, and our standing in the world. You can almost hear them thinking...

Hurricane Katrina... Yipee! Many dead, thousands dislocated, response less than perfect! Millions in property damage sure to raise the deficit... Just dandy!

Classified NSA Anti-Terrorism Program Revealed... Yaaay! Terrorists alerted to our methods will now find new ways to communicate. Safety and security threatened! Whoo-Hoo!

Shrine Blown-up in Iraq... Cool! Iraq on brink of civil war, car-bombs exploding, people dying, Mid-East democracy threatened... Great!

VP Cheney accidentally shoots friend... Terrific! Didn't report it to jounalists immediately... Better yet!

U.S. alliance with U.A.E. at risk over delayed port deal... Fantastic! Americans now look like Arab-hating racsists. Awesome! Could it get any better than this?

Economy slowed in 4Q of 2005... Really? Wow! I love it... (Oh, but it's "rebounding smartly" in the 1Q of 2006? Well, we'll downplay that and move it deeper into the article. Maybe no one will read the article anyway and just grab the headline.)

Oil Prices Up... Wahooo! That will tick-off Americans!

Nothing getting done in Washington because of obstructionist Dems and worried GOPs... All Right! Good use of tax money!

And just think... we can blame it all on Bush!! Homerun! That one's outta here baby!