Daily Wisdom

February 02, 2006

AT&T Sued For Lack of Terrorism

SAN JOSE, CA -- AT&T, Inc. was sued on Tuesday for its alleged role in helping to eliminate terrorist attacks on the United States. The deadly frivolous lawsuit was filed in U.S. District Court in San Francisco on behalf of Osama bin Laden, Ayman al-Zawahiri, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, et al, by a little known group called Leaders In Bovine Stools (sometimes referred to as Leaders In BS). The group, which represents manufacturers of small 3-legged chairs used for milking cows, claims in the suit that AT&T assisted in the NSA terrorist surveillance program which spied on hundreds of cows since the attacks of 9/11. They claim that the methods of surveillance employed by the NSA have not only reduced the number of terrorist attacks on the U.S., but may lead to an outbreak of Mad Cow Disease.

An unnamed spokesman for L.I.B.S. said, "The NSA surveillance program is denying Americans their right to be attacked by terrorists. Although we don't know the full details of the program yet, we are quite confident that a lawsuit like this will expose plenty of classified information during the discovery period."

"People in America want the 'right to choose' whether or not to be attacked", he went on. "Not only that, but people are getting scared about this Mad Cow thing." Rumors around the beltway suggest that Hillary Clinton may already be feeling the effects of this malady.

Howard Dean, chairman of the DNC has filed an Amicus Brief on behalf of the plaintiffs.


At 2/02/2006 5:20 PM , Anonymous onlineanalyst said...

The Davos Celebrity King, Bill Clinton, feels that global warming is a much bigger threat than the Islamo-terror network though. So far, AT&T hasn't used its resources to check this problem so this corporate enemy of the little people may have a blade of switch grass to cling to.
Meanwhile, President Bush is more concerned about the nuke kooks who may contribute to the global warming that ends civilization as we know it in the West.

At 2/02/2006 9:02 PM , Blogger Beerme said...

L.I.B.S.! I love it!
Leaders in Bovine Scatology would work, too.

At 2/02/2006 9:56 PM , Blogger mig said...

Can you believe that AT&T? We got rights, ya know. The nerve!

And Billy speaks so sensitively about those naughty cartoons that were printed that made Osama cry. A grown man crying. Oh the horror. Oh the Shame.

I say, Support the Danes and buy some cheese.

At 2/03/2006 5:08 AM , Blogger camojack said...

Bovine stools, huh?

You've got that right!

At 2/03/2006 8:44 AM , Blogger Maggie said...

N0W,who you gonna call?

At 2/03/2006 9:56 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Hi everybody. Thanks for "Viewing".

Well, I am trying to keep this site as "clean" as possible!

Was that a blade of switch grass? ...or a switchblade of grass? No, that can't be right.

Like I told Camo, I had other thoughts... but decided to keep it somewhat clean.

Like I said at ScrappleFace this morning, those cartoons should be published in every newspaper in every country of the world. The Muslims should take a "chill pill" and get a life. If they can't handle a little humor, then we have BIG problems. This war on terror will escalate into a war between religions.

At 2/03/2006 9:57 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Call "Ghostbusters"!

At 2/03/2006 2:09 PM , Blogger Barb said...

All we have to do is get rid of all the cows, cut down all the trees and put plugs in all the orifices of Democrats ,especially the AliClintons, Aligore, AliDean,AliKerry and most importantly AliKennedy and Presto, no more Global warming.
Can anyone tell me why they picked AT&T? Plays heck with my dividends.

At 2/08/2006 3:49 PM , Blogger MargeinMI said...

I always thought it was Hillary Ham Hocks Clinton. And now you're telling me she's some kind of bovine creature? I'm soooo confuuuused!

At 12/22/2009 9:40 AM , Blogger bathmate said...

Excellent posting...I appreciate this blog....



Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home