Reid Demands Janitorial Upgrade

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) on Tuesday urged President Bush to issue an Executive Order during his upcoming State of the Union Address which would improve the janitorial services on Capitol Hill. "This place is a pig-sty", declared Reid. "We've got Congressman wallowing in 'pork', Senators getting their 'palms greased'. There's all sorts of filth and 'corruption' here".

Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) joined Reid at the press conference saying, "It's (hic) Republicans that control the House, Senate and White House... So this is clearly 'a Republican problem'... and they better (urp) do someshing(sic) about it".

Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT) wanted to speak but was overcome by fumes. Senator Richard Durbin (D-IL) just watched from the sidelines apparently absorbed or catatonic.

Reid closed the press conference saying, "President Bush can't relate to what's going on over here. He sits in his 'White House' all day. He should 'come clean' over here once in awhile for us low-lifes".