Dean To Coach Whitehouse On Losing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Howard Dean, former failure as a contender for the role of Democratic candidate for president in 2004, announced today that he will show President Bush how to lose the war in Iraq. "I have plenty of experience at being a loser", said Dean, "and I intend to teach Bush everything I know".

According to White House spokesman Scott McClellan, President George W. Bush is "focused on our plan for victory". Dean laughingly responded to McClellan's statement by saying, "See what I mean? This guy Bush will NEVER be a loser if he keeps focusing on victory!" Those closest to Dean acknowledge that he has a terrific losing attitude.

Dean recently told radio station WOAI in San Antonio, Texas, that "the idea that we're going to win the war in Iraq is an idea which is just plain wrong." In general, Democrats greeted Dean's pronouncement favorably, as most of them are losers too.

The first to agree with Howard Dean was John F. Kerry, who lost the Presidential election of 2004. Kerry actually WON the Democratic nomination in 2004, so he is not as much of a loser as Dean, but he has a strong losing attitude and can be credited with almost single-handedly causing America to lose the war in Vietnam... and he has been a loser ever since.

There are plenty of other losers in the Democratic Party and more yet in the Mainstream Media, but time does not permit us to mention them all by name.