Daily Wisdom

November 22, 2005

SP2: A Mystery Story

DOWNTOWN, NJ -- I spent the last few days working on a friend's computer, trying to install Windows Service Pack 2 (SP2). No luck. I mean, we tried almost everything... 1) the normal route, 2) in safe mode, 3) wiped out the hard disk and did a clean install of Windows XP, 4) with the computer's recovery disk, 5) with an off-the-shelf version of Windows XP SP1. Nothing worked. Every time we installed SP2, the computer crashed on reboot or shortly thereafter (blue screen of death).

We followed all the recommendations, like disconnecting from the Internet cable modem, doing spyware scans and defrag beforehand... the whole bit. Ended up putting everything back the way it was with SP1. Computer works OK now. The computer is less than 2 years old. It's an AMD 64-bit chip on an ASUS mother board with plenty of RAM and Hard Disk space. About the only thing we didn't do is go out and buy a new version of Windows XP with SP2 already integrated. Reluctant to find out that might not work either. Totally flabberghasted...


At 11/22/2005 12:38 PM , Blogger Libby Gone™ said...

Go to Computers R Us and purchase Abacus 1.0. No power adapter needed. Works everytime.

At 11/22/2005 2:54 PM , Anonymous Al Gore said...

I invented the Internet.

At 11/22/2005 3:32 PM , Blogger RAM said...

Are you sure you have enough R.A.M.?

At 11/22/2005 4:41 PM , Anonymous onlineanalyst said...

The ghost in the machine adds to the suspense of these mystery stories.

Do you think that 2-pack/Tupac didn't want to go into the service?

Ha, Ha, R.A.M.-- very good indeed!

Holy smokes! Am I supposed to type in this whole secret code? Talk about using disk space! (Before the cattleman put his herd out to pasture, he said, "All of these fields are optional."

At 11/22/2005 7:44 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Libby Gone™,
I'll suggest it to my friend, but if it ain't got power and buttons and technology... I don't think it's of any interest.


At 11/22/2005 7:45 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Al Gore,
Thank you for reminding us.


At 11/22/2005 7:46 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

One can NEVER have too much R.A.M. !!!!!


At 11/22/2005 7:51 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

The ghost in the machine? Sounds scary!

BTW, was that Tupac or Sixpac?

I like the "cattleman -- optional fields" joke. Reminds of this one... (Did you hear about the farmer who was "outstanding" in his field?)


At 11/23/2005 9:35 AM , Anonymous Shelly said...

Hawkeye, I liked your column more when you wrote in in English. :)

At 11/23/2005 10:11 AM , Anonymous Maggie said...

You think you have computer problems,I'm still working on 'cut and paste'

At 11/23/2005 12:21 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

I will take that under advisement (:D)

Are you 'flabberghasted' too? BTW, is that a word? I wonder who thought that one up.

At 11/23/2005 10:39 PM , Blogger RAM said...

I recently got a message that there were updates to my Norton security. I went there and downloaded them. Took about an hour. I then couldn't access any web pages.

Since I have a Dell recovery system, I went back a few days and it ended the problem.

It probably happened because of my, "---not enough R.A.M.--" statement!

At 11/23/2005 11:11 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Yes, I've been hearing that Norton might be creating more problems than it's solving. And that's a shame, because people are paying good money for the annual updates to Norton Antivirus. I've switched to AVG from Grisoft (it's free) as an antivirus solution. I only use Norton for: "Fast & Safe Clean-up", "Disk Doctor", "WinDoctor", and sometimes "Speed Disk".

Best regards,

At 11/24/2005 8:21 AM , Blogger MargeinMI said...

You folks crack me up!

Still plunking away on Windows 95....gerbil huffing and puffing....

At 11/26/2005 11:32 PM , Blogger camojack said...

Bits Bytes Chips Clocks
Bits in bytes on chips in box.
Bytes with bits and chips with clocks.
Chips in box on ether-docks.

Chips with bits come. Chips with bytes come.
Chips with bits and bytes and clocks come.

Look, sir. Look, sir. Read the book, sir.
Let's do tricks with bits and bytes, sir.
Let's do tricks with chips and clocks, sir.

First, I'll make a quick trick bit stack.
Then I'll make a quick trick byte stack.
You can make a quick trick chip stack.
You can make a quick trick clock stack.

And here's a new trick on the scene.
Bits in bytes for your machine.
Bytes in words to fill your screen.

Now we come to ticks and tocks, sir.
Try to say this by the clock, sir.

Clocks on chips tick.

Clocks on chips tick.
Eight byte bits tick.
Eight bit bytes tock.
Clocks on chips with eight bit bytes tick.
Chips with clocks and eight byte bits tock.

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say....

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this? What a shame, sir!
We'll find you another game, sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side-effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and take them all out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as bytes have nibbles, your computer's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!

(Computer poem in the style of Dr. Seuss by Gene Ziegler © 1994)

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