Nagin: We're Used to Filth

NEW ORLEANS, LA -- Despite concerns expressed today by President Bush and FEMA, New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin outlined his plan to repopulate the city "one zip code at a time". According to Nagin, "a city without people has no need for a mayor... and I intend to be a 'wanted' man". He continued, "The longer people stay away, the more likely they are to figure out there's a better place to live. And not only that, but my bribes and kickbacks have been all but wiped out."

Admiral Thad Allen, current head of the federal response effort to Hurricane Katrina, outlined a number of safety issues to the mayor and recommended a 'go-slow' approach. His list included, 1) no potable drinking water, 2) the potential for more flooding, 3) the lack of a credible evacuation plan for people who returned, and 4) the potential for disease from remaining flood waters and mosquitoes. "Besides that, the city is downright disgusting", commented Allen. "I can't believe anybody would want to go back in there at this time."

Nagin responded by saying, "What's a little bit of dirt? We're used to living in filth. So what if it's a little more than usual?"

Off-camera, Allen was seen smacking his forehead and saying "D'OH!"