Kerry: Wealth Will Hurt Hispanics

Kerry And A Hispanic Friend
WASHINGTON, D.C.-- Senator John F. Kerry (D-MA) today delivered the Democratic response to President Bush's weekly radio address and, speaking in Spanish, told Hispanics that the President's plans to increase their retirement income through the use of personal investment accounts would "hurt" them. Kerry said that Hispanics are an important part of the Democratic Party base, and that they should avoid any opportunity to earn more money, especially for retirement.

An associate of Kerry who wished to remain anonymous put it like this. "Kerry knows that it is typically older Americans who donate to political causes, because they have more disposable income. If Hispanics get more disposable income, then they are not likely to be poor... and not likely to be Democrats. Comprende?"

"Democratic Americans are POOR Americans", said Kerry. "I know it. You know it... and I'm proud to be your GRINGO pal. Sure, I have a home in the prestigious neighborhood of Beacon Hill, Boston, Massachusetts. But don't forget, I mortgaged that house. I took on debt to become just a little bit poorer so I could identify better with you... my poor wetback friends".

Kerry went on to say, "Don't trust that Amigo in the White House. His plan is purely voluntary... and we know you'd rather be told what to do, right? His plan allows you to keep some of your own money... and we know you can't be trusted with a responsibility like that, eh? Trust ME. Stay dumb. Stay poor. Stay Democrat."

No Hispanics that actually listened to Kerry's address could be reached for comment.