G8 Summit Awards Terrorists

GLENEAGLES, Scotland -- In response to the string of explosions that rocked London today, the leaders of the G8 Summit announced that they would 'hunt down' the perpetrators in order to honor them with an Award for Bravery. "It takes real courage to plant bombs in public places that will kill or maim dozens of innocent civilians", said British Prime Minister Tony Blair. "A fair fight between uniformed soldiers on the battlefield would be too much to ask", he continued. "These terrorists have clearly chosen the path of honor... using methods that every civilized nation should emulate... and we strongly intend to consider doing so".

President Bush declared,"We can only support our British friends in their desire to honor these as-yet-unknown heroes. We strongly resent the assertions of some who might suggest that those responsible for today's events are nothing more than cowardly dogs, defiled infidels, vermin, snakes, worms, leeches, parasites, or insects. They are not men who act like women, men with nothing between their legs, men who hide behind women and children, men who wear women's clothing, men who feel strength by hurting women and children, or men who cry like babies when they are captured by Christians. Those who feel this way should rethink their position. They should realize that such insults are just too good for such heroes. We are looking for better insults. If you have some, please contact your local blogger".

Jaques Chirac merely looked on while others spoke.