Americans Rejoice Over Congress

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With Congress beginning a five-week recess, Americans everywhere began to celebrate. "I thought they would never go home", said one ecstatic reveler. "It's about time", said another.

Despite the fact that a number of measures were just signed into law, a new poll just out from the Galloping Guys suggests that Americans are just plain exhausted by the antics that go on inside the Beltway. According to the survey, 52% of those polled say that Congress makes them want to puke, 21% want to break something in anger, 18% have stopped paying attention, 3% enjoys the give-and-take action, and the balance had no opinion or didn't understand the questions. The poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 27%.

It is clear from these results, that the ceaseless ranting, mud-slinging, posturing, obstructionism, game-playing, and partisanship have nauseated or angered a significant proportion of the populace.

In addition, Conservatives are happy because Congress will take a five-week break from giving away all our money. On the other hand, Liberals are relieved that the spotlight will be off their miserable failures.

President Bush will be at his ranch in Crawford, Texas. Most Americans will be celebrating with cook-outs, get-togethers, vacation trips, or by just relaxing and enjoying the momentary lull.