Ahmadinejad: Case of Mistaken Identity

TEHRAN, Iran -- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President-Elect of Iran, today denied accusations that he was one of the radical students that in 1979 seized the U.S. Embassy in Tehran and took 52 Americans hostage for 444 days. "That wasn't me", he said. "That was my evil twin step brother, Abu Ahmadinejad".

The former mayor of Tehran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is often referred to as the "boss" by many of his closest associates. "I wasn't even there", said Ahmadinejad. "I was at home... doing my homework... yeah... that's it. You know, I worked hard to get my degree ". Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has a B.S. degree in Political Science with a minor in Strong Arm Tactics which he received after 9 years of study in 1984.

The "boss" also denies Austrian accusations of being the mastermind behind the 1989 slaying of Abdul-Rahman Ghassemlou and 2 of his associates in Vienna. "Same story... evil twin step brother Abu", he said. "C'mon, trust me. Would I lie to you?"

In related news, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad today announced that Iran would continue its nuclear program "for the peaceful production of electricity".