Daily Wisdom

June 18, 2005

Lawmakers Ask Terrorists For Withdrawal Timetable

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Lawmakers on Capitol Hill have begun calling on terrorists for a timetable to begin pulling their forces out of Iraq. According to a Gallup poll taken earlier this month, 6 out of 10 Americans said foreign terrorists in Iraq should start removing some or all of their forces from Iraq before the end of the year, and 72% said all foreign terrorists should be out by October of 2006. Terrorist approval ratings have also reached an all time low of 37%.

In a related poll, the numbers were similar. In that poll, 63% of Americans said Iraqi insurgents and former Baathist Party loyalists should reduce the number of car bombings and homicide attacks to approximately half of their current levels by the end of the year. While 76% said car bombings and homicide attacks should be eliminated completely by October of 2006.

"These are the highest poll numbers we've seen so far", said an unnamed Gallup employee. "The insurgents and terrorists had better start taking American public opinion seriously. If not, it's going to get ugly real fast. The United Nations will be called in... young Iraqi women will be made into sex slaves... Iraqi oil money will be stolen by the U.N. fat cats back in New York... and if you think Iraq is mis-managed now, just wait 'til the U.N. gets involved."


At 6/18/2005 9:00 PM , Anonymous onlineanalyst said...

Wow! That timetable coincides with some important elections in 2006. Is all of this part of a Rovian plot?

At 6/18/2005 9:04 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

It's ALWAYS a plot. Bush is always to blame. Silly you.

At 6/19/2005 12:39 AM , Blogger Kajun said...

Absolutely brilliant! You nailed it that time!

Now if AP would just pick up this story...

At 6/19/2005 8:36 AM , Blogger mig said...

I agree. It's time these guys had an exit strategy.

At 6/19/2005 8:43 AM , Anonymous onlineanalyst said...

Quite frankly, the Democrats have been suffering from "withdrawal" pangs for a long time. In their eroding loss of power, they grasp at any "fix" to reassume ascendancy.

A tough love approach is most necessary at this point to wean the Democrats from their co-dependency with the MSM. Both of them will probably suffer grievously in the short run. However, without cutting off the source of the Democrat/MSM addiction, future Dem lawmakers and presidential candidates will continue to feed their mutual habit of making news with outrageous demands and getting the face time and sound bites that keep the ink flowing.

The health of the body politic of the U.S. may depend on not feeding the addictive needs of the Democrat grandstanders while they are undergoing "withdrawal".

At 6/19/2005 10:00 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

AP? ...oh yeah, I think the Aardvaark Press picked up on it.

At 6/19/2005 10:03 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

So far, it seems like the only exit strategy those idiots know is a doorway to 72 virgins... or is that Virginians?

At 6/19/2005 10:06 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

What... and break up the mutual admiration society? Or perhaps we should just call it like it is... a vast Left Wing conspiracy. Ever notice how they like to tag that one onto conservatives? Takes one to know one.... doncha know.

At 6/19/2005 2:51 PM , Blogger Kajun said...

Clarification, typo: A&P

At 6/19/2005 2:55 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

I think A&P is having a special on timetables this week.


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