Daily Wisdom

June 24, 2005

Dean: Bold New Plan For Success

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democratic National Committee, today spoke before a group of party faithful and he surprised his audience with a bold new plan for winning future elections. "The Democratic Party needs more votes to win", said Dean. "We cannot continue to let the Republicans get more votes than we do, if we intend to take back the Presidency, the House of Representatives and the Senate".

"Unbelievably brilliant!", said a Democratic strategist who heard the speech. "Dean's medical background has clearly paid off for the Democratic Party. He's a regular 'brain surgeon' of the first magnitude".

"We need more Latino votes", said Dean. "We need more military votes. We need more Jewish votes. We need more votes from dead people. We need more votes from illegal aliens. We need votes in Ohio. We need votes in Florida. EEEEEAAAAAGGHHHHHHH!!!!"


At 6/25/2005 12:00 PM , Anonymous onlineanalyst said...

Or perhaps Dean could just move on...
And since his current movement has been constipated by the rhetoric of the Twinkie™ set, perhaps he should put a little fiber into the Dem agenda.

At 6/26/2005 12:50 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

I didn't know there WAS a Dem agenda.... other than disagree with everything and do nothing, that is.

At 6/26/2005 1:29 PM , Anonymous onlineanalyst said...

Well, fiber might remove the obstructions, at any rate.

At 6/26/2005 2:01 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since I fit those categories...I guess I will vote for Dean

At 6/26/2005 7:11 PM , Anonymous Ben-Gay Guy said...

Put a little Ben-Gay™ on it.

At 6/27/2005 8:56 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Ben-Gay™ on his Twinkie™?... Sounds too hot to handle.


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