Cox Seeks Advice From Bolton

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Bush today nominated Rep. Christopher Cox (R-CA) to fill the position left vacant by William Donaldson as head of the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). President Bush asked the Senate to move quickly and confirm Cox "at the earliest possible date."


Horrified at the announcement, Cox immediately sought out John R. Bolton, President Bush's nominee for the position of U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations. Bolton's nomination has been held hostage for months in the Senate Foreign Relations committee by Democratic insurgents. The insurgents are demanding ransom payments and withdrawal by Republicans from Capitol Hill territory before they will set the nominee free to be voted on by the full Senate.

"What's it like being held captive by angry insurgents?", Cox asked. Bolton replied,"It's no fun, that's for sure. They've threatened to chop off my... mustache. But I'm a big boy and I can take it."

"Any other advice?", asked Cox. "Yeah, be sure to bring a good book", said Bolton.