Schumer Asks Bush To Surrender Authority

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY) on Saturday urged President Bush to turn over his authority for selecting judicial nominees to the Democrats. "There is so much turmoil and bickering between Republicans and Democrats", said Schumer. "If the President would just let Democrats pick the nominees, all this wrangling could be eliminated."

Schumer made his remarks during the weekly radio address of the Democratic Party. He went on to denounce what he called "a whiff of extremism in the air the likes of which we haven't seen in decades."

An unnamed Republican strategist commented, "I thought I smelled something foul... but I don't think it's coming from our side of the aisle."

President Bush responded to Schumer's request saying, "Those guys are just sore losers. They lost the election. They lost seats in the House and the Senate. And now they're just making donkeys outta themselves. Can you spell 'Loser'? L-O-O-Z-E-R... Loser!"