Cheney Cheered By Amnesty Report

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice President Dick Cheney, in an interview with Larry King, said he was "cheered" by the results of a new report just out from Amnesty International. The group, which researches and reports on cases of human rights violations, recently issued a new report that claims the U.S. military's human rights have been violated by a number of media outlets.

The report follows a notoriously false allegation by Newsweek magazine that portions of a Koran were flushed down a toilet at Guantanamo Bay detention center. Other cases of anti-military bias in the media were also cited in the report. An analysis of news reports from various print, TV and radio media sources were analyzed for "negativity, either directly or implied" versus "positive or uplifting" messages. The study revealed that the ratio of negative news to positive news was "954 to 1".

"This is an outrage", declared a member of Amnesty International who wished to remain anonymous. "The human rights of the U.S. military are being trampled. Men and women who pay dearly to bring freedom and hope to millions around the world are being treated unfairly. These practices need to stop!"

No one at any of the cited media outlets could be reached for comment.