Bush Apologizes For In-Sourcing of Jobs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) today announced that job growth in April was a hefty 274,000 new jobs... higher than most analysts predicted. Job growth numbers for February and March were also revised upward by 93,000 new jobs, suggesting that the economy may not be stalling out as previously feared.

Other good news came from the BLS Household Survey Data, which indicates that employment grew by 598,000 in April to 141.1 million people.

Unfortunately, there's some bad news to go along with the good news. According to the BLS, the civilian labor force in the U.S. grew by 605,000 in April. This means that both the number of unemployed persons (7.7 million) and the unemployment rate (5.2 %) remained basically unchanged in April.

"I want to apologize to the American people for this unfortunate turn of events", said President Bush. "It seems clear to me that although we added approximately 600,000 new jobs in April, those jobs went mostly to immigrants".

President Bush continued, "Sure, there were probably a few American people who just entered the workforce for the first time, but I can't believe it was 600,000... can you? The way I figure it, most of the people who were unemployed in March were still unemployed in April, and maybe 90% of those new jobs went to Mexicalis comin' over the border".

Lou Dobbs, CNN business news analyst, was quick to chide President Bush for this apparently uncontrolled in-sourcing of jobs and announced a new series of segments he plans to air called "America: In-Sourcing Gone Wild".