Ancient 15-Pound Hamburger Discovered

CAIRO, Egypt -- Archaeologists have unearthed an ancient mummy in Egypt which they claim to be about 2,300 years old. Of greater significance however, is the fact that this ancient Egyptian may have been about to chow down on a 15-pound hamburger. "This is an enormous find", said one of the diggers. "And it's amazingly well-preserved".

Because the figure of the mummy is rather on the small side, some of the archaeologists are offering various speculations as to the size of the burger. One theory holds that the mummy had a tremendous appetite while alive. Another theory suggests that the giant burger may have been a going-away present from relatives of the deceased who feared their loved one might go hungry in the afterlife.

The news has hit one town in Pennsylvania like wildfire. Eager to emulate the ancient find, a restaurant in Clearfield, PA immediately began offering 15-pound burgers. "We got some big people with big appetites here in Clearfield", said an unnamed bystander, "but I ain't seen nothin' like this before. Gosh... those E-gyptians sure invented a lotta great stuff, didn't they?"