Daily Wisdom

April 25, 2005

Michael Jackson to Play Race Card

SANTA MARIA, California -- A number of cable news legal analysts suggest that Michael Jackson will play the race card at his sexual molestation trial. In a twist of fate, it is expected that Mr. Jackson will claim that his deviant sexual behavior with young males is the result of his now being Caucasian. "If I was still black", said Jackson, "you know I wouldn't be thinkin' 'bout no boys."

It is rumored that Mr. Jackson's attorney will call an expert witness in the areas psychology and the effects of chemical skin bleaching agents. "It's clear that Michael Jackson was normal before he started bleaching his skin", said a close friend of the Jackson family. "He didn't turn weird, until he turned white".

Superior Court Judge Rodney Melville, who is presiding at the Jackson trial, today agreed to hear testimony from Debbie Rowe, mother of two of Jackson's children. "I agree", said Rowe. "I think that the bleach really got to him. Breathin' that stuff can't be good for your brain cells."

20 Comments:

At 4/25/2005 9:14 PM , Anonymous Thomas Mesereau Jr. said...

Mr. Hawkeye®,
As Mr. Michael Jackson's attorney, I can only stress that if you continue to publish these patently false assertions and this libelous tripe, I will be forced to bring suit against you on behalf of Mr. Jackson.

 
At 4/25/2005 9:18 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Relax Mesereau... No harm intended. Just good clean fun, OK? I'm a huge fan of Michael Jackson, but anybody in the news is open to being published in the "View From Above". Nobody is safe from the Humor of the Hawk.

 
At 4/25/2005 9:24 PM , Anonymous Larry King said...

Mr. Hawkeye®,
Would you be available for an interview the near future? One of your fellow bloggers named Marc Withac suggested your name.

 
At 4/25/2005 9:24 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Larry King,
Well, I don't know Larry... actually I was hoping for Bill O'Reilly.

 
At 4/25/2005 11:49 PM , Blogger Roger Dodger said...

Ha ha.

Trying to make up for scrappleface, are you? Well it's pretty bad. It's also obvious that you're writing your own comments and responding to them. how foolish.

 
At 4/26/2005 12:08 AM , Blogger ManiaC Provost said...

Humour relies on the unexpected, but once you've heard all the jokes... anyway, good work, old fellow. It's always good to see a new wrinkle in the Jackson story. Heh. Heh.

-fmm, aka

 
At 4/26/2005 12:35 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

roger doggie, is it true that you are a college student who cannot get a date with a woman or a man, so you spend your time on the computer hoping to share some of your misery with others?

 
At 4/26/2005 12:54 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

سمساری موشه اند برادرز در سراسر جهان است، در خاطرات خود به ماجرای ملاقات رازآلودش با خاتمی در مراسم تشییع جنازه پاپ ژان پل دوم اشاره کرد. موشه قصاب در بخشی از خاطراتش نوشته است: وقتی خاتمی من را دید، گفت: سلام آقا! شما ایرانی هستید؟ من گفتم: بله، من شما را می شناسم. خاتمی گفت: شما لهجه یزدی دارید؟ من گفتم: بله، من یزدی هستم. خاتمی گفت: چه جالب! خوشحالم که با یک هموطن ایرانی در ایتالیا آشنا می شوم، آن هم در این مکان مقدس. من گفتم: من هم همینطور. بعد خاتمی گفت: ایران وطن شماست، به ایران برگردید، آغوش ایران برای شما باز است. من گفتم: خیلی ممنون. بعد خاتمی پرسید: شغل شما چیست؟ گفتم: من رئیس جمهور هستم. خاتمی با تعجب گفت

 
At 4/26/2005 1:03 AM , Blogger Marc with a "c" said...

Larry,
I told you not to mention my name.

 
At 4/26/2005 7:57 AM , Blogger camojack said...

I'm not sure, but this may just call for a song parody...

 
At 4/26/2005 9:39 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

roger dodger,
No doubt about it. I will never be as good as the Master... Scott Ott. But there's no harm in having a little fun, eh?

 
At 4/26/2005 9:49 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Help Wanted!,
"View From Above" seeks arabic-reading translator to assist with Comments Section of the blog. This is a new position, so the salary has not yet been set. Show me an example of your work by translating the comment posted at 12:54 AM on this thread and posting it here (assuming it is something my mother would not be offended to read). Thank you. That is all.

 
At 4/26/2005 9:55 AM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

fmm, aka maniac provost,
Welcome, good to hear from 'ya. I'm going to have to check out your blog when I get a bit more time... look's like an interesting read.

 
At 4/26/2005 10:47 AM , Blogger SGT USMC 1ea said...

Even the silly trolls follow to ridicule when truth is spoken.

Deus es Semper Fideles

 
At 4/26/2005 12:52 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

sgt usmc 1ea,
Good to hear from ya. I put a link to your blog in my sidebar. Come back and visit again (I can't have just trolls here).

 
At 4/26/2005 4:39 PM , Blogger Marc with a "c" said...

Hawkeye® said...
sgt usmc 1ea,
Good to hear from ya. I put a link to your blog in my sidebar. Come back and visit again (I can't have just trolls here).

Hey! ;)

 
At 4/26/2005 4:51 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Marc with a "C",
Ooops! Maybe I could've phrased that a little better? You know I wouldn't have a link to your blog on my sidebar if I thought YOU were troll, now didja?

 
At 4/28/2005 5:32 AM , Blogger SGT USMC 1ea said...

Hawkeye,
Maybe I will resume blogging after finals. I often bewgrudge the time it takes to lurk lately. No offense taken.

Jesu es Semper Fideles

 
At 5/01/2005 3:26 PM , Anonymous Leben Frei said...

Which race card did you say he was going to play? The Indy 500, the Boston Marathon? The only card he is going to play is the "Go Directly to Jail" card!

 
At 5/08/2005 12:08 PM , Anonymous Ilissa said...

I think this one was great...pretty funny...I have to forward this to a few people who I know will really enjoy it

 

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