FBI Reveals Source of Bolton Mustache
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An unnamed spokesperson for the FBI today announced that they had completed an investigation into the source of John Bolton's mustache. Bolton is President Bush's nominee for U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. and has been undergoing intensive scrutiny during his ongoing Senate confirmation hearings.
As a follow-up to an exclusive story by famed blogger Scott Ott at Scrappleface.com on April 12th, the FBI launched a secret investigation into the source of John Bolton's mustache. The results of the investigation are shocking...
Mr. Bolton's mustache was formerly a Silver Fox fur coat from the Barbie Doll collection of Chelsea Clinton. Being the "bully" he is, Mr. Bolton stole the fur coat from Chelsea and chooses to wear it right under his nose for all to see. Bolton considers it an Anti-Clinton trophy. Fortunately for Mr. Bolton, the FBI considers this a misdemeanor and Mr. Bolton is not expected to serve any jail time.
posted by Hawkeye® -- Tuesday, April 19, 2005
10 Comments
10 Comments:
I invented Barbie dolls.
I invented Chelsea Clinton.
I actually voted FOR mustaches.... before I voted AGAINST them. I happen to like mustaches, but I cannot force my beliefs on others. Frankly, I'm not sure that John Bolton's mustache will pass the global test.
You say "trophy," we say "scalp."
Just think...it was right under his nose, the whole time!!!
Judging from the Republican "leadership" in the Senate, the hair may be from some of the senators' legs...
the real story......Bolton is the poster child for the "got milk" adds.
Maggie,
Milk of Magnesia maybe?
Me catchum...me scalpum with Burma Shave™
Whew! I guess Condi's off the hook for stealing Midge's hair!
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