Daily Wisdom

April 19, 2005

FBI Reveals Source of Bolton Mustache

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An unnamed spokesperson for the FBI today announced that they had completed an investigation into the source of John Bolton's mustache. Bolton is President Bush's nominee for U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. and has been undergoing intensive scrutiny during his ongoing Senate confirmation hearings.

As a follow-up to an exclusive story by famed blogger Scott Ott at Scrappleface.com on April 12th, the FBI launched a secret investigation into the source of John Bolton's mustache. The results of the investigation are shocking...

Mr. Bolton's mustache was formerly a Silver Fox fur coat from the Barbie Doll collection of Chelsea Clinton. Being the "bully" he is, Mr. Bolton stole the fur coat from Chelsea and chooses to wear it right under his nose for all to see. Bolton considers it an Anti-Clinton trophy. Fortunately for Mr. Bolton, the FBI considers this a misdemeanor and Mr. Bolton is not expected to serve any jail time.

10 Comments:

At 4/19/2005 1:44 PM , Anonymous Al Gore said...

I invented Barbie dolls.

 
At 4/19/2005 1:45 PM , Anonymous Bill Clinton said...

I invented Chelsea Clinton.

 
At 4/19/2005 1:48 PM , Anonymous John F. Kerry said...

I actually voted FOR mustaches.... before I voted AGAINST them. I happen to like mustaches, but I cannot force my beliefs on others. Frankly, I'm not sure that John Bolton's mustache will pass the global test.

 
At 4/19/2005 7:24 PM , Anonymous Harry Reid said...

You say "trophy," we say "scalp."

 
At 4/19/2005 7:31 PM , Blogger camojack said...

Just think...it was right under his nose, the whole time!!!

 
At 4/19/2005 8:20 PM , Blogger Beerme said...

Judging from the Republican "leadership" in the Senate, the hair may be from some of the senators' legs...

 
At 4/19/2005 10:19 PM , Anonymous Maggie said...

the real story......Bolton is the poster child for the "got milk" adds.

 
At 4/19/2005 10:21 PM , Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Maggie,
Milk of Magnesia maybe?

 
At 4/21/2005 4:36 AM , Anonymous Old Indian said...

Me catchum...me scalpum with Burma Shave™

 
At 4/22/2005 8:33 PM , Blogger MargeinMI said...

Whew! I guess Condi's off the hook for stealing Midge's hair!

 

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